All work
and no play makes one dull !! ~ does your children go out to play – do they
have the place ? the attitude ? and how much do you allow / encourage them to
play ???
People over 40 may appreciate this
more … others too perhaps can! .. – When we grew up - things were not
plentiful – lesser opportunities, lesser wealth, lesser play material,
lesser food items, lesser fees ……………….. lesser controls and regulations too… !!
– most children of those days did not complain or were not allowed to complain
– ate whatever was given, wore what was available, shared things and even dress
with cousins; walked to schools, and
later went in public transport ….. life was different those days – one would
exclaim !!!
As it transformed, we grew
up, went to college, got employed, got married, mostly stayed away from friends
and siblings, begot children ……….. and when
children (mostly one or at the most two in a family) grow - many
are worried even for simple day to day occurrences. When the child
goes out – the present day middle class parents are worried of
sending their son/daughter alone – numerous Qs run in the mind ……. whether they
would be able to go places on their own - how will they travel, will they
be able to face the outside environ, would they properly cross the road wary of
the traffic, get into the right bus / train and return in time ? …… and all
this were happening without much ado in those days !!
Do you pride yourself as
one of those new age parents, indulgent yet strict as per the needs of the
situation? Do you worry endlessly and even stays up till your kid get home………
Do you always tell your child ‘what to do and what not to’ just to
'keep them safe'? … Every parent would have their own style of parenting.
Modern Counsellor would say that the parent should respect the emotion of the
children. The modern day children are demanding and at times downright
threatening. (emotional blackmailing!) Parenting (or child rearing) - the
process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, and
intellectual development of a child is complex ~ and parent perhaps is not
control of the situation. Unlike the education or training, parenting skills
cannot be learnt in a classroom nor read in any standard book. One needs to
constantly upgrade their skills.
There is something known as "cotton wool culture" - of over-protecting children which now researchers say that
has contributed to a decline in freedom for them to play, heath and
ability to perform of their own. In an article in Daily Mail in Feb
14, it was stated that protective parents are stopping their children from
playing sports because of fears they could be injured. We complain that
now-a-days children are not involved in outdoor sports. One in
seven parents said they would stop their child playing rugby because of the
possibility of injury, as health campaigners criticised the 'cotton wool
culture' and warned activity was essential to children.
Another method is ‘helicopter parent’ (also
cosseting parent) – of a parent who pays extremely close attention to a child's
or children's experiences and problems, particularly at educational
institutions. Helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopters, they
hover overhead.
…. What sort of parent
are you ? – fathers, do you really know which standard your ward
is studying (Can you tell the Class Section and roll No. of your son /
daughter) … how he/she is performing …
do you spend quality time with them – how much time you devote to them – do you
play with them and do you get to talk to them regularly ….
Some random thoughts…. At
a time, when modern children get glued to TV and computer, kids of
Triplicane even in their play think of God.
For 10 days from Apr 12 to 20th, it was Chithirai
Brahmothsavam at Thiruvallikkeni divyadesam; followed immediately by 10 days
Sahasrabdi [millennium] celebrations for Acharyar Swami Ramanujar. Procession of Perumal takes place both in the
morning and evening (early morning and late nights !) - you can see so many youngsters actively
engaged in all activities and there are these fantastic kids…..
In Srivaishnava
divyadesams, there is this lovable “Chinna perumal’ – adorable kids carry their
own Perumal beautifully decorated matching the Presiding deity in the same
vahanams, often resembling the Original ! – and
it is great bliss to watch and observe them - and you can feel their involvement and
commitment…. ,.. .. it is a different
World out here.
With regards – S.
Sampathkumar
29th Apr 2017
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